Good Deeds, Selfish Intent

i dunno if i read it somewhere or i heard it from somebody but it is something i remind myself from time and again, it is to do something good every once in a while.

i travel in public transportation everyday and there are lots of times when there are no seats empty and then an old woman/man or a pregnant woman or woman carrying a tiny baby or a sick person gets in, what does a nice person do? gives up his seat for them. i do that but usually i wait for somebody else to be the nicer person and give up their seat. there are times when i ask myself why did i just do that, i could have been sitting comfortable instead i find myself standing up holding on and swaying when the driver hits the break. it was day before yesterday i gave my seat for a woman carry her toddler and i just got up and told her to take my seat and i had to stand up in the overcrowded bus all the way to the destination. i asked myself why did i do what i did, there were other people too who could have given up their seat and this time around i got an answer to that. i told myself to look at this as a good deed that i did for a woman having a hard time, that woman had a comfortable travel while i had the hard time but it was definitely less for me than it would have been for the lady along with her child. Instead of a comfortable travel i get to live knowing that i did a good deed and i get to feel good about myself. i get to tell myself and the world that i’m one of the gentlemen, and all of this makes giving up the seat worth it. that is sort of a selfish way to see this, is it not? i wonder if this is how the other people who are doing all whats good for people, who work for peace even if it means they have to give up on things in their lives feel,i wonder if they do it just because they get to feel good about themselves, well it does feel good, did boost up my pride and can definitely live with this. now next time i do something good i wont ask why, i’ll do it and just feel good about myself, its good for me and my pride especially when life just throw things at you that makes you feel miserable about yourself and where you are at your life.