life to figure?

It is said that everyone is born with a purpose; if so i would like to know what my purpose is in this life. Wouldn’t it have been so much easier if the moment we were born we were told of our life’s purpose? But then that would contradict to the belief that we are born free, implying that we don’t actually have free will, thus we can say that we are bound by our purpose in life. So it begs me to ask myself if there is such thing as freedom and free will if we are born with a purpose. And i wonder when i hear or read people say they are born to do this and that. Did they just let go of their free will? or did they choose a purpose themselves off of their free will? May be they are just way too much influenced by the movies and just wanted to say it because that does sound cool in some weird way. I wonder of the feeling they feel when they actually believe that they have found their purpose in this wonderland of the world ruled by cruel selfish witches whose sole purpose is to bring doom on the people and their lives.
Why is it so important to have a purpose in life? A tiny voice in my head tells me its because purpose gives meaning to life, does it actually make you feel like you are worth something. But why do we all need that? seeking life’s meaning or self-worth is like going on could-be-a-suicide mission and if you do survive it what then? Is enlightenment the prize at the end of all of this? why do we even need this enlightenment shit anyway? why go through all this hassle? why not wake up everyday and go about it?
One of the hardest things that i’d had to do in life is to convince myself of something like the need of purpose in life and enlightenment.  I’ve started telling myself that if I’m supposed to find something i will and leave it at that. So much time and energy spent trying to figure “life” out that i’d forgotten to take care myself and things that were slipping away from me. The way i figure loosing what i have is not something i can afford but i can stop chasing after something that isn’t there. i just have to believe that with time i will find it right in front of me; hopefully. Till then i just going to live a day at a time and focus on living than on life.


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