Accepting my feeling

I cannot not love you
I cannot throw you out of my life
I want to but,
I am not going to kill my heart
It has been through enough for a lifetime.

Am I supposed to do the “right thing”?
I have no energy
I will make do
Let life take its course
For you will pass by me
In time
I will pass by you
Till then
I will smile and
Thank you for being around
For what I feel is real
And I don’t need reciprocation
I don’t need validation
Nor am i asking for it
I am not doing anything wrong
I am going to feel this feeling
I am going to smile
For as long as I can
For as long as life will let me
For tomorrow I will cry
Today I will be happy.


Existence wasted?

Today I want to not exist, if it was a choice but unfortunately it is not. So I breathe heavily, wishing it were my last. I stomp the earth as hard as I can like my anger would go away but it hasn’t. I am angry at everything. And at myself the most for the person I am, the disappointment I am. Things need to change about myself or I will be this sad forever, a pathetic sad soul, a waste of an existence.

Moment of love

I could write endless love stories about you and me.

Every detailed moments.

Like how you would get on top of me,

Look me in the eye

Give me a peck in the lips

And roll on to the other side of bed

Search for my hand looking at the ceiling

Grasp my hand tight

Fingers intertwined.

In that fantasy, I could spend a life time.