Do you think I asked you just for a ride?
Are you that dumb?
Do you not understand?
It is not a ride I want,
It is the presence I am asking for,
I want somebody whom I trust by me,
Because I am scared.
Am i feeling weak again?
Like the doom is here and I want to surrender
Not because I want to, may be I do
Because it is easier to submit
Knowing I have to keep fighting is becoming burdensome
Is this why you never taught me to dream?
Because I am cursed?
Cursed at birth
Cursed while growing up
Cursed now that i have grown-up
If this is what’s in stored for me, it’s okay
I will learn to dream
Don’t expect me to give up
Don’t expect me to stop fighting
Coz I will till I have breath left in me.
It feels like life is trying to break me down.
One thing after the other. It has been just mentally challenging till now and I have survived, grown strong not smart though. And now it is giving me physical challenge on top of more mental challenges. It has given me tumor which might be cancer. It is a disease that will change a lot of things for me in life going forward. Though highly curable, there is still chances of 1-5% of it returning back, still a number which requires me to be careful with myself now.
I know I will get through this. I know I’m strong, but am I strong enough? I am trying to prepare myself but I don’t know what to expect. I’m scared, trying hard not to show, not let the tears fall because,
I am a card in a house of cards, if I fall so will this house of cards. And that I will try very hard to not happen.
I am strong. I am moving forward. I am healing. I am healthy. I am peace. I am calm. I can withstand anything.