You are gone

My love you are gone

You have left me truely this time

You have met another man

You have forgotten me

Took less time than I thought it would

Yet here I am still hanging on to the love we had

I will never get over you

I just hope life will bring me someone give me enough love to not remember

The love we once.

The love you once made me feel.

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“Oh my baby”

I hear them words in my head

I miss the love you made me feel

I miss not feeling alone

I don’t miss you

I miss not being the only one in the bed

I miss curling up with you

I miss your kisses

I don’t miss you

I miss your eyes looking at me

I miss your smile

I miss the songs u played

I don’t miss you

I heard them words again

I wish i didn’t miss you

The last letter

Dear lover,

This is my last letter to you, my dear dear lover boy. It would be nice if I could tell you all this in person but I am a coward and you know that.

Yesterday should have been avoided but I guess we are too late for that. I thought I was okay but I am not. How do I tell you I had to walk away because I could not watch you hurt and just settle for a witness. I was being selfish. But after a year here we are and you are not over anything you were going through. You are still hurting, you are broken and all I did was break your broken heart. All I did was make things worse for you. I made it worse for you. I was not able to save you but I didn’t know I had just helped to make things worse for you. I wish my apologies could save you, take away your pain. I wish I could turn back time and change everything. I wish I could go back and tried harder to help you. Tried harder to stay with you. I am but a mere mortal and incapable of turning back time.

Karma is a bitch. What goes around comes around. And I deserve nothing less.

I am going to try to slowly move out now. Since I can’t help you, because I will only remind you of all that you have lost. What hurts me is knowing that may be you were never in love with me. May be I never stopped being a distraction from your far-away lover. You still love him. May be you loved us both but I am nothing before your first love.

I never wanted love. I didn’t want what I thought we had. I don’t remember what we had, all we went thought in detail like you did. I had to save myself. All those memories, you did was to remind me to smile but I am not sure if I will be able to after yesterday.

You are my first like he is yours. So you shall remain in my heart. I wish I had a stronger heart. I wish we had never met.

All said and done, I am a mere human with the only choice to live with, to learn to smile thinking of the days that went by. To not repeat the mistakes I made with you with somebody else.

I hope you find your peace. You have been broken for too long.

Trying to let go…

Three years since we met, more than a year since we went our separate ways. And still this heart wonders where you are, what you are doing, how you are doing. I lied to you the time we talked. I haven’t let you go. I have been trying to let you go. I am. I just haven’t been able to let you go. I don’t know if i want to, i dun think i want to because i feel guilty for tying to let you go. I feel sad for myself but i don’t want to break your heart again, instead i have been breaking other hearts. I don’t know. I am getting feed up with myself.

I wish we were together. I wish we were happy together. But now all i can wish for is that we find hapiness.

I never thought love would do this to me. But it has. Like i didn’t have enough of heartaches. Life is hard, god is cruel and i shall breathe again.