Relationship weak and in pieces
Only tears and heartache
Is it better to have nothing than this?
I wish for nothing
I wish to be no one
Disappear like I never existed
But what will that bring? Peace?
Or just numbness?
Throwing pebbles into the water, creating ripples
I dont want to throw pebbles no more
Let there be stagnance
You were the first one I ever felt connected with, it was an hour was it we spent together? I remember I wanted to devour you. You felt like everything I need maybe you still are. We met at the wrong time I guess but I’m glad we met. Maybe there is still a chance for us but you have seas to cross. Only time will tell.
You I left behind. I loved you. I still do. I wish you nothing but peace and happiness.
I see you. Your ambitions are bigger than anything else. I can’t see us together. You feel so comfortable, I feel at peace at the thought of you.
Guarded. funny. sarcastic. I’ve barely scratched the surface. You will open with time and the is what we are running out of.
I am lost. Within.
Desperate. Longing for togetherness.
None of you are right, neither wrong.
I am enough.
The pain you went through is what made you into who you are,
A successful professional
A shrewed person
A sharp tounged bitch
I hope you change.
Because your mother deserves better daughter
Because your child deserves a better mother
Because your husband deserves a loving wife.
Your success will fade
Your money will run out
All you will have is your ego.
The closer you get to people, you get exposed to their cruel side, their dark side, their fucked-up side you did not think existed. You want to scream at them on top of your lungs, tell them to fuck off.
Fuck you! Fuck you asshole!
But then what’s the point? They are who they are, and I doubt people are going to change. It is you who has to adjust. You just saw them for who they can become, a part of them.
But the fault is my own. I trusted. I relied on them. I gave them everything. I gave them me, the unfiltered me. And in return, I expected honesty, understanding but instead, I got a slap on my face, I was left with the well-deserved turmoil inside which is eating me inside-out. I feel like this feeling is killing me from within. I blame me, that’s it!
As for them, I accept them for their goodness and their darkness, the whole, the Ying and the Yang.
Do you think I asked you just for a ride?
Are you that dumb?
Do you not understand?
It is not a ride I want,
It is the presence I am asking for,
I want somebody whom I trust by me,
Because I am scared.
I am lost for words to describe you
I don’t have enough words to describe you
You took me out of the box I was living in
You are teaching me to live in this harsh world
I wish I had given you more love than I did
I wish I could love you like I want to
I wish things had never ended for us
I wish we could begin like my heart desires
You are the best thing that ever happened to me
You are the best thing to walk into my life
I wish we never went our separate ways
I wish we could be together
You never understood me
You can never understand me
Life just left me with nothing
Only desires left unfulfilled
I should have held you close
I want the courage to face you in the light