Answers first!

Life, you think you know it and there is just more things that unfolds itself with time. There are times when you find answers first and then the questions, funny isn’t it?

In life it seems it doesn’t matter what u want or get, even if things are given to you on a silver platter, if you are not ready for it all the things will just goes in the opposite direction to where they should be heading. Especially when it comes to big things like Relationships you gotta be ready for it, like they said its easy to fall in love but the hard part comes later and that’s “relationship”. Now if you think i’m talking from a experience, you are wrong. It’s just up in my head but something tells me I’m right but i could be wrong too. This is the answer i just “discovered” i was talking about in the beginning and now u might be wondering what the question is then. So here is the thing, i have this sort of void in my life, in myself and I’ve been just trying to fill that. At times I’ve thought may be relationships is it and have tried to get into that but i just found myself not being about to see myself actually being able to do that, the whole being in a relationship ordeal. That feeling of wanting something then you just screw that up for yourself gotta mean I’m just not ready for that. So now i gotta find out why. This time with the questions first and when i find the answers i might go for the whole filling the void with relationship deal but for now i just need to find why am i running away for a lot of things in life which needs to stop for my own well-being. I think i might have the answers but still there are others things to look at which i haven’t done. You know what life is a Pandora’s Box, you just don’t know what you might find, what you might realize.


I did okay today and I feel nothing, not sad i screwed up few(may be more than few) problems, not happy that I’m going to pass, just nothing. Is this how its going to be? This sorta scares me. May be its because I actually tried today, that there is still hope left. Or is it because my head is aching? I wish I could get some answers but that ain’t gonna happen.  So I’m just going to dwell in this feeling tonight, this feeling of nothingness, it’s good to feel a different feel for a change. It’s way much better than feel like a looser all the time anyway. That’s probably why i just didn’t stop walking to talk to people and take that chance of feeling miserable again, I just wanted to keep this nothingness to being miserable.