What is next?

Born with the death of the father

Born in a family eaten by ego

Born an awkward child

Always felt out of place growing up

Bullied, made fun of, alone

Born with nature not considered natural

Gay, alone, frustrated

Hiding in the shadows

Always scared to be seen for his real self

Struggled with his identity

Lied to himself, lost himself

Found love

And lost it, for he was unable to sacrifice

His stance, his freedom to choose

Lost the only person who showed selfless love

Fell for someone who can’t lovd his back

Fell for someone who doesn’t know

Fell in a pitch dark hole

Trying to climb up

And life throws a curve ball

Lost a ball

Diagnosed with cancer

All plans asked to be rethought

Frustrated, on the ground again

Wants to run away

Wants to stop breathing

Wishes it was that easy

Wishes he was never born

Wishes he could take back his existence

But wishes don’t come true

Reality kills

Lives with the knife plunged into his heart

He is not dead yet

Only learning to live

Advertisements

Challenge accepted!

It feels like life is trying to break me down. 

One thing after the other. It has been just mentally challenging till now and I have survived, grown strong not smart though. And now it is giving me physical challenge on top of more mental challenges. It has given me tumor which might be cancer. It is a disease that will change a lot of things for me in life going forward. Though highly curable, there is still chances of 1-5% of it returning back, still a number which requires me to be careful with myself now.

I know I will get through this. I know I’m strong, but am I strong enough? I am trying to prepare myself but I don’t know what to expect. I’m scared, trying hard not to show, not let the tears fall because,

I am a card in a house of cards, if I fall so will this house of cards. And that I will try very hard to not happen.

I am strong. I am moving forward. I am healing. I am healthy. I am peace. I am calm. I can withstand anything.