Clingy, desperate

I fear I have become clingy, have I? I have been desperate for love, for companionships. Have I gone overboard? May be.

My expectations has grown and now I fear I will be dissapointed. So here I am taking a step back, breathe. As I give him space, I give myself space as well. I need to focus on myself now. I need to be desperate for my own peace of mind, love for myself and take care of my own well being.

I am enough.

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Loneliness is killing me

What is the extreme loneliness you have felt?
I discover new extremes every time I find myself feeling lonely.

Are you surrounded by people?
I am, and it is same as then when I was standing alone.

Do you think they love you unconditionally?
If you thought yes, you thought wrong.

What lengths have you gone to try get rid of loneliness?
I sold my self-respect for moments of another body by me.

Have you begged for a presence?
I did and now I don’t know who I have become anymore.

Are you tired?
I am exhausted.

Here I go again, to revive myself.

Loneliness

I had accepted this loneliness. My mind had already accepted and gotten over this. I was okay. Being alone was okay. Loneliness didn’t bother me. But that was then. After I was together. And now i am alone again. Here i am in now feeling lonely and

I don’t want to be alone.

I have to learn again. I have to learn. I have to be okay in this loneliness.