Numb again

Broken family

Broken bonds

Relationship weak and in pieces

Hurtful words

Only tears and heartache

Till when?

Is it better to have nothing than this?

I wish for nothing

I wish to be no one

Disappear like I never existed

But what will that bring? Peace?

Or just numbness?

What makes you feel alive?

Funny how I used to try so hard to not feel pain, and now that very feeling, pain makes me feel alive. Like this world is real, I am alive and I am living because I can feel pain. It hurts and I feel it. Feeling it gives me the sense of being alive. It is sad, of all the things, pain! I curse at myself but it is what it is and I accept that. I hope someday this pain will be replaced by peace or happiness or something else.

Dark Life

Your tears will wash away the pretend,
Naked for all to see;
Your heart blank and blood blue,
Body cold, left to decay
Scavengers won’t touch you
Earth won’t take you in
You will be lost in the standstill,
Where even darkness dies
But you will breathe, live
As you are not at your end
You are at another beginning
Another cycle of Pain,
of Sorrow,
of Loneliness,
of Death
and Yet you will live.