Accepting them for who they are

The closer you get to people, you get exposed to their cruel side, their dark side, their fucked-up side you did not think existed. You want to scream at them on top of your lungs, tell them to fuck off.

Fuck you! Fuck you asshole!

But then what’s the point? They are who they are, and I doubt people are going to change. It is you who has to adjust. You just saw them for who they can become, a part of them.

But the fault is my own. I trusted. I relied on them. I gave them everything. I gave them me, the unfiltered me. And in return, I expected honesty, understanding but instead, I got a slap on my face, I was left with the well-deserved turmoil inside which is eating me inside-out. I feel like this feeling is killing me from within. I blame me, that’s it!

As for them, I accept them for their goodness and their darkness, the whole, the Ying and the Yang.

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Past and Present

I am lost for words to describe you
I don’t have enough words to describe you

You took me out of the box I was living in
You are teaching me to live in this harsh world

I wish I had given you more love than I did
I wish I could love you like I want to

I wish things had never ended for us
I wish we could begin like my heart desires

You are the best thing that ever happened to me
You are the best thing to walk into my life

I wish we never went our separate ways
I wish we could be together

You never understood me
You can never understand me

Life just left me with nothing
Only desires left unfulfilled

I should have held you close
I want the courage to face you in the light

Where am i at?

I walk fantasing about you, the unattainable. I never could keep who I already had, but it was never just my fault. This is a point in life where i see myself wanting a lot of things, i talk big and i’m nowhere close to where i want to be. I’m just somewhere. Will i get there? May be. Will i ever get you? No. Better stop now. Steer away from the unattainable. Do i have to?