Dumbass friend

Do you think I asked you just for a ride?
Are you that dumb?
Do you not understand?
It is not a ride I want,
It is the presence I am asking for,
I want somebody whom I trust by me,
Because I am scared.

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Loneliness is killing me

What is the extreme loneliness you have felt?
I discover new extremes every time I find myself feeling lonely.

Are you surrounded by people?
I am, and it is same as then when I was standing alone.

Do you think they love you unconditionally?
If you thought yes, you thought wrong.

What lengths have you gone to try get rid of loneliness?
I sold my self-respect for moments of another body by me.

Have you begged for a presence?
I did and now I don’t know who I have become anymore.

Are you tired?
I am exhausted.

Here I go again, to revive myself.

You are gone

My love you are gone

You have left me truely this time

You have met another man

You have forgotten me

Took less time than I thought it would

Yet here I am still hanging on to the love we had

I will never get over you

I just hope life will bring me someone give me enough love to not remember

The love we once.

The love you once made me feel.

What is next?

Born with the death of the father

Born in a family eaten by ego

Born an awkward child

Always felt out of place growing up

Bullied, made fun of, alone

Born with nature not considered natural

Gay, alone, frustrated

Hiding in the shadows

Always scared to be seen for his real self

Struggled with his identity

Lied to himself, lost himself

Found love

And lost it, for he was unable to sacrifice

His stance, his freedom to choose

Lost the only person who showed selfless love

Fell for someone who can’t lovd his back

Fell for someone who doesn’t know

Fell in a pitch dark hole

Trying to climb up

And life throws a curve ball

Lost a ball

Diagnosed with cancer

All plans asked to be rethought

Frustrated, on the ground again

Wants to run away

Wants to stop breathing

Wishes it was that easy

Wishes he was never born

Wishes he could take back his existence

But wishes don’t come true

Reality kills

Lives with the knife plunged into his heart

He is not dead yet

Only learning to live